I smile...

There are many a times when I smile. But the times I smile when I am alone are the ones that generally produce the heartiest smiles...often ending up in giggles. And I smile by myself quite often. I smile when my phone shows "Mamdo Bhoot" calling or maybe "Yeti" or "Balloon"! Yeah my phonebook is quite strange. I smile when I pass by Moni da's canteen. I smile when I walk past the hawkers selling dresses in Gariahat. I smile when I pass by certain class rooms in college. I smile when I pass by a certain building. I smile when I go past the Book Store. I smile when I eat Chicken Pokora at Milon Da's. I smile when I go behind the Economics Department. I smile when I am on my way to the byepass over the Gariahat-Kasba Connector and I catch a glimpse of Gariahat Mall ( its probably shut down now though). I smile when I see the school bus of a certain school passing by. I smile when I go past a shop in Park Circus. I smile when I go to City Centre. I smile when I see the lifts in City Centre. I cannot stop smiling when I am in one of those lifts. I smile when I go past a certain Ladies' wear shop in City Centre.I smile whenever I ride a rickshaw. I cant hold back my smile when I am on a rickshaw and its raining. I smile when I go by Peter Cat. I smile when I go to Krystal Chopsticks. I smile when I walk past Bar-B-Q. I smile when I see the sun after the showers. I smile when I see a broken chair. I smile when I go past a Fast Food shop in Golpark. I smile when I go by the CCD at Lake Road. I smile whenever I see the Archies Gallery in South City. I smile a little first when I go past Grub Club and then a little more when I pass Caffeine. I smile when I enter the road beside Mouchak in Golpark. I smile whenever I am at the Cold Drinks shop at the corner of Deshapriya Park. I smile when I walk past Dakkhini. I smile whenever I see a Frankfyn Air Hostess Academy, especially the Gariahat Branch. I smile when I hear the song Love me Tender by Elvis. I smile when I hear the song Whats Going On from the movie Salaam Namaste. I smile when I hear the song Kitne Armaan by Himesh. I smile when I hear a song from Golmaal Returns. I smile when I wear a certain pairof trousers and I can still see some of the red stain that is STILL there! I smile sometimes when I am having Maggi. And sometimes, very few times, I smile even when I am looking myself in the mirror!

And all of the times I have spoken of above, I dont need anybody to be there with me or say anything to me to make me smile. I just smile all by myself. And the best part is that earlier, not ALL of these made me smile. Rather, some of them would almost make me cry. But how things change! I cant stop smiling when I see them now. Wish everything was just like this, all the sadness get washed away and only the happy memories remain...

LISTS

This post is all about lists.

List of names I have been called in my lifetime:
Neel, Nilayan, Neel madhav, Lebu, Putke, Nylon, Dushtu Santa, Neel Man,Nilu di, Sea lion, Blue Lion, Baby whale, Baby tiger, Rhinopotammus, Gondaar, Rhino Man, Googly Woogly, Mutku, Gendaswami, N.D, Nee

List of Superheroes I wanted to be:
Batman, Birdman, Space Ghost, Jake Rockwell from the Centurions, Razor from the Swat Katz, The Human Torch from the Fantastic 4, Iron Man, Wolverine. I also wanted to be Rambo.

List of Villains I wanted to be:
Dick Dastardly, Dr. Freeze from Batman, The Green Goblin from Spiderman.

List of people I wanted to marry:
Jennifer Anniston, Penelope Pitstop, Posion Ivy from Batman, Miss Jones (my class teaher in class 3)

List of things I just HAVE to do:
Bungee Jumping, Scuba diving( I dont know how to swim). Trekking on a mountain that has ice, Eat an entire turkey, face a 95 miles per hour cricket ball, spend an entrire day without any kind of contact with any human being.

I am a tiger. I love being a tiger. It makes me proud of who I am. You know what I love most about being a tiger?The strength. The power. The mystery. Not so much the magnifence. I like being on my own. I like lazing in the sun. I like rolling on the grass. But most of all, I like stalking. The stalking...it gives me so much pleasure...much more than the taste of fresh warm blood on my sharp canines. I love to stalk. More than I like to laze. Or roll. Even more than I like to pounce. Often I stalk for fun. Stalk those puny humans. No I am never going to sink my teeth in their bitter meat, but i love stalking them. Confusing them. Scaring them out of their skin. Its just so much fun to watch the world's most intelligent race twitch in fear. Indeed, I AM the king of the jungle. They know I am there. Behind them. Ahead of them. Beside them. All around them...and yet they cant see me! Its such a helpless feeling. And they want to break free. Run away. But they dont know which way to run. They are scared that they just might run into me. And I love it! Love to follow their searching eyes. Full of panic. Their cowardly eyes smeared in the blood of fear, void of that false pride that always blinds them. And though they dont say it aloud, they beg for mercy. Mercy at the hands of a 'wild' animal. One that lives in the jungle. One that cannot even stand up on two legs. One that flees at the slightest spark of fire. Oh what has the human, the most powerful of God's creatures have to be scared of me for? But yes they are...they ARE scared of me.Why? Because they do not trust themselves. They are tainted with sin. Their confidence is marred with guilt. They are the type who would kill another for no reason at all. For fun. For 'game'. Just to watch the other die. And to bask in the glory of that death and brag about it to all his fellow humans and be bestowed with honour for that...to be honoured for killing. And they call me a beast? That is why they are scared of me. Because they think of me as one like them. The type to kill for pleasure...a savage. Strong though I am, I am not above my creator. I survive because of nature. Its funny how humans leapt so far ahead in evolution and yet forgot this basic fact. And so I respect nature. I respect the laws she has set forth. I am not human. I do not disregard nature. After all, nature is why I am alive.