19th July, 2010

Have you ever missed yourself? If its difficult for you to comprehend, then let me try to clarify it. Do you feel that at this very moment of your life, you are a different person than who you were at any other juncture? I know that most of you don’t ever spend the time to search your souls. Well I don’t care. I am here to speak about myself! Not you guys. Over the years, I have experienced a lot of things. I have changed from being a child, to being “childish”, from being immature to “behaving” immature to shedding immaturity, embracing maturity, forgetting maturity, loving maturity, hating it. I have loved, been loved, fallen in love, fallen out of love, found love, lost love, made love. I have won, lost, won and lost, won yet lost. And through all of this, I have gone from being one person to another. Passed through thousands of transient phases, each often indistinguishable from the other. Its like a rainbow. You can see the red and the yellow. But you can never tell where the red turned into the yellow! And all of these persons… I have different feelings about all of them. I miss some of them while I hate to think of some. Some scare me and others annoy me. Some make me feel jealous while others thankful.

I ran into one of them recently. I loved him! He is this amazingly wild person with an unending stock of energy. He never seems to get tired. And nothing seems beyond him. He is unperturbed by all the obstacles ahead of him. He doesn’t give a damn what anyone is going to conclude from what he says or does. He does something only because he wants to do it! And all this fuelled by a stalwart conscience and a deep and unmovable embrace with honesty. And this guy is wild! He cracks the funniest of jokes! And he is the meanest and most sarcastic little devil you can come across! And yet you can’t hate him! He has this innocent vibe about him! And he is a dreamer. Dreams the freakiest dreams. And does the freakiest stuff to make those dreams come true! And the best part about him? He doesn’t stop!

You know what? I like him so much, I think I am going to ask him to stay for a while…